Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
