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in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
