Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
