Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Found your dick twin last night
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
