O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
