it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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