those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
