there's paper in my vomit.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
