respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
