That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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