we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
