It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
