We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
