i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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