Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
