the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
