I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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