so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
