i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
