i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
