I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Everyone says I win the strip club
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
