i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize