it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize