Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
