wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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