totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
