After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
