I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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