What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
