I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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