So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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