The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
