Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My nipple is on Facebook.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
