he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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