white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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