I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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