All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
