you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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