I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
