Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
