Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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