how can u be prego again
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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