so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
