hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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