the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
