Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize