So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I AM VODKA MAN
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
