Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
are you so shy because you have an std?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
