We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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