My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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