the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Still dying that you shit outside
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
