We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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