We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
