Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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