I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had to cum in my sink.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
