Barsexuality is the new black.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
