oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
