he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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