Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
